What Would You Do?

What would you do?


You make the choice. Don't look for a punch line. There isn't one. Read it anyway.

My question to all of you is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended.

After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question.

"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"


The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe, that when a child like Shay comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes, in the way other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story: Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball.

Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?"

Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging. Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay could play.

The boy looked around for guidance and, getting none, he took matters into his own hands and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the outfield.

Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least be able to make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ba ll softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher took the ball and turned and threw the ball on a high arc to right field, far beyond the reach of the first baseman.

Everyone started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!"

Never in his life had Shay ever made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"

By the time Shay rounded first base, the right fielder had the ball.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward second base as the runners ahead of him deliriously circled the bases toward home.

Shay reached second base, the opposing shortstop ran to him, turned him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams were screaming, "Shay, run home!"

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game for his team.

"That day," said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world."

AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people think twice about sharing.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people on your address list that aren't the "appropriate" ones to receive this type of message.

Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the "natural order of things."

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up that opportunity, and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

You now have two choices:
1. Delete this.
2. Forward it to the people you care about.
You already know the choice I opted for.

Halloween Witch

Each year they parade her about, the traditional Halloween Witch.
Misshapen green face, stringy scraps of hair, a toothless mouth
beneath her deformed nose. Gnarled knobby fingers twisted into a
claw protracting from a bent and twisted torso that lurches about on
wobbly legs. Most think this abject image to be the creation of a
prejudiced mind or merely a Halloween caricature. I disagree, I
believe this to be how Witches were really seen.

Consider that most Witches were women, were abducted in the night,
and smuggled into dungeons or prisons under the secrecy of darkness
to be presented by light of day as a confessed Witch. Few if any saw
a frightened normal looking woman being dragged into a secret room
filled with instruments of torture, to be questioned until she
confessed to anything suggested to her and to give names or what
ever would stop the questions.

Crowds saw the aberration denounced to the world as a
self-proclaimed Witch. As the Witch was paraded through town
en route to be burned,hanged, drowned, stoned or disposed of
in various other forms of Christian love all created to free
and save her soul from her depraved body, the jeering crowds
viewed the results of hours of torture. The face bruised and
broken by countless blows bore a hue of sickly green. The once
warm and loving smile gone replaced by a grimace of broken
teeth and torn gums that leers beneath a battered disfigured
nose. The dishevelled hair conceals bleeding gaps of torn
scalp from whence cruel hands had torn away the lovely tresses.
Broken twisted hands clutched the wagon for support, fractured
fingers with nails torn away locked like groping claws to steady
her broken body. All semblance of humanity gone this was truly a
demon, a bride of Satan, a Witch.

I revere this Halloween Crone and hold her sacred above all. I honour
her courage and listen to her warnings of the dark side of man. Each
year I shed tears of respect when the mundane exhibit their symbol
of Christian love.

Author: ~Unknown

To My Child

Just for this morning,
I am going to step over the laundry,
and pick you up and take you to the
park to play.

Just for this morning,
I will leave the dishes in the sink,
and let you teach me how to put
that puzzle of yours together.

Just for this afternoon, I will
unplug the telephone and
keep the computer off, and sit with you
in the backyard and blow bubbles.

Just for this afternoon, I will not yell
once, not even a tiny grumble when
you scream and whine for the ice cream
truck, and I will buy you one if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon, I won't
worry about what you are
going to be when you grow up, or second
guess every decision I have made
where you are concerned.

Just for this afternoon, I will let
you help me bake cookies, and I won't
stand over you trying to fix them.

Just for this afternoon, I will take
us to McDonald's and buy us both a
Happy Meal so you can have both toys.

Just for this evening, I will hold
you in my arms and tell you a story
about how you were born and how
much I love you.

Just for this evening, I will let
you splash in the tub and
not get angry.

Just for this evening, I will let
you stay up late while we sit on the
porch and count all the stars.

Just for this evening, I will
snuggle beside you for hours,
and miss my favorite TV shows.

Just for this evening when I run
my finger through your hair
as you pray, I will simply be grateful
that God has given me the greatest
gift ever given.

I will think about the mothers
And fathers who are searching
for their missing children,
the mothers and fathers who are
visiting their children's graves
instead of their bedrooms,
and mothers and fathers who are in
hospital rooms watching their children
suffer senselessly, and screaming inside
that they can't handle it anymore.
And when I kiss you good night I will
hold you a little tighter, a little longer.
It is then, that I will thank the Lady and Lord
for you, and ask them for nothing, except
one more day.............

Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew

By Ellen Notbohm

Some days it seems the only predictable thing about it is the unpredictability. The only consistent attribute -- the inconsistency. There is little argument on any level but that autism is baffling, even to those who spend their lives around it. The child who lives with autism may look "normal" but his behaviour can be perplexing and downright difficult.

Autism was once thought an "incurable" disorder, but that notion is crumbling in the face knowledge and understanding that is increasing as you read this. Every day, individuals with autism are showing us that they can overcome, compensate for and otherwise manage many of autism's most challenging aspects. Equipping those around our children with simple understanding of autism's most basic elements has a tremendous impact on their ability to journey towards productive, independent adulthood.

Autism is an extremely complex disorder but for this article we can distill it to what I call The Big Three: sensory processing challenges, speech/language delays and impairments, and whole child/social interaction issues. And though these three elements may be common to many children with ASD, we also must keep front-of-mind that no two (or ten or twenty) will be alike. For every child: a different spot on the spectrum. And, just as importantly for every parent and teacher, a different spot on the spectrum.

Here are ten things every child with autism wishes you knew:

1. I am first and foremost a child -- a child with autism. I am not primarily "autistic." My autism is only one aspect of my total character. It does not define me as a person. Are you a person with thoughts, feelings and many talents, or are you just fat (overweight), myopic (wear glasses) or klutzy (uncoordinated, not good at sports)?

As an adult, you have some control over how you define yourself. If you want to single out a single characteristic, you can make that known. As a child, I am still unfolding. Neither you nor I yet know what I may be capable of. Defining me by one characteristic runs the danger of setting up an expectation that may be too low. And if I get a sense that you don't think I "can do it," my natural response will be: Why try?

Sensory integration may be the most difficult aspect of autism to understand, but it is arguably the most critical.

2. My sensory perceptions are disordered. This means that the ordinary sights, sounds, smells, tastes and touches of everyday that you may not even notice can be downright painful for me. The very environment in which I have to live often seems hostile. I may appear withdrawn or belligerent to you but I am really just trying to defend myself. Here is why a "simple" trip to the grocery store may be hell for me:

My hearing may be hyper-acute. Dozens of people are talking at once. The loud speaker booms today's special. Music whines from the sound system. Cash registers beep and cough, a coffee grinder is chugging. The meat cutter screeches, babies wail, carts creak, the fluorescent lighting hums. My brain can't filter all the input and I'm in overload!

My sense of smell may be highly sensitive. The fish at the meat counter isn't quite fresh, the guy standing next to us hasn't showered today, the deli is handing out sausage samples, the baby in line ahead of us has a poopy diaper, they're mopping up pickles on aisle 3 with ammonia. I can't sort it all out; I'm too nauseous.

Because I am visually oriented (see more on this below), this may be my first sense to become over-stimulated. The fluorescent light is too bright; it makes the room pulsate and hurts my eyes. Sometimes the pulsating light bounces off everything and distorts what I am seeing -- the space seems to be constantly changing. There's glare from windows, too many items for me to be able to focus (I may compensate with "tunnel vision"), moving fans on the ceiling, so many bodies in constant motion. All this affects my vestibular sense, and now I can't even tell where my body is in space.

Receptive and expressive language and vocabulary can be major challenges:

3. Please remember to distinguish between won't (I choose not to) and can't (I am not able to).

It isn't that I don't listen to instructions. It's that I can't understand you. When you call to me from across the room, this is what I hear: "*&^%$#@, Billy. #$%^*&^%$&*���" Instead, come speak directly to me in plain words: "Please put your book in your desk, Billy. It's time to go to lunch." This tells me what you want me to do and what is going to happen next. Now it is much easier for me to comply.

4. I am a concrete thinker. This means I interpret language very literally. It's very confusing for me when you say, "Hold your horses, cowboy!" when what you really mean is "Please stop running." Don't tell me something is a "piece of cake" when there is no dessert in sight and what you really mean is "this will be easy for you to do." When you say "It's pouring cats and dogs," I see pets coming out of a pitcher. Please just tell me "It's raining very hard."

Idioms, puns, nuances, double entendres and sarcasm are lost on me.

5. Please be patient with my limited vocabulary. It's hard for me to tell you what I need when I don't know the words to describe my feelings. I may be hungry, frustrated, frightened or confused but right now those words are beyond my ability to express. Be alert for body language, withdrawal, agitation or other signs that something is wrong.

Or, there's a flip side to this: I may sound like a "little professor" or movie star, rattling off words or whole scripts well beyond my developmental age. These are messages I have memorized from the world around me to compensate for my language deficits because I know I am expected to respond when spoken to. They may come from books, TV, the speech of other people. It is called "echolalia." I don't necessarily understand the context or the terminology I'm using. I just know that it gets me off the hook for coming up with a reply.

6. Because language is so difficult for me, I am very visually oriented. Please show me how to do something rather than just telling me. And please be prepared to show me many times. Lots of consistent repetition helps me learn.

A visual schedule is extremely helpful as I move through my day. Like your day-timer, it relieves me of the stress of having to remember what comes next, makes for smooth transition between activities, helps me manage my time and meet your expectations. Here's a great website for learning more about visual schedules: www.cesa7.k12.wi.us/sped/autism/structure/str11.htm.
Don't let autism cause you to lose sight of the whole child. Self- esteem is crucial.

7. Please focus and build on what I can do rather than what I can't do. Like any other human, I can't learn in an environment where I'm constantly made to feel that I'm not good enough and that I need "fixing." Trying anything new when I am almost sure to be met with criticism, however "constructive," becomes something to be avoided. Look for my strengths and you will find them. There is more than one "right" way to do most things.

8. Please help me with social interactions. It may look like I don't want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it's just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. If you can encourage other children to invite me to join them at kickball or shooting baskets, it may be that I'm delighted to be included.

9. Try to identify what triggers my meltdowns. Meltdowns, blow-ups, tantrums or whatever you want to call them are even more horrid for me than they are for you. They occur because one or more of my senses has gone into overload. If you can figure out why my meltdowns occur, they can be prevented. Keep a log noting times, settings, people, activities. A pattern may emerge.

10. If you are a family member, please love me unconditionally. Banish thoughts like, "If he would just" and "Why can't she...” You did not fulfill every last expectation your parents had for you and you wouldn't like being constantly reminded of it. I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you I am worth it.

And finally, three words: Patience. Patience. Patience. Work to view my autism as a different ability rather than a disability. Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I'm not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don't lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people? Also true that I probably won't be the next Michael Jordan. But with my attention to fine detail and capacity for extraordinary focus, I might be the next Einstein. Or Mozart. Or Van Gogh.

They had autism too.

The answer to Alzheimer's, the enigma of extraterrestrial life -- what future achievements from today's children with autism, children like me, lie ahead?

All that I might become won't happen without you as my foundation. Think through some of those societal `rules' and if they don't make sense for me, let them go. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we'll see just how far I can go.

If you enjoyed this article please look for the new book "Ten Things Every Child with Autism Wishes You Knew" coming out this Fall. Freelance writer and parent of a child with autism, Ellen Notbohm is co-author of 1001 Great Ideas for Teaching and Raising Children With Autism Spectrum Disorders (Future Horizons, http://www.futurehorizons-autism.com/ and a columnist for Autism/Asperger's Digest

American borders and responsibility

I posted this as a reply on another blog, but it really is something I believe so I wanted a copy of it here.....


I agree that our border should be patrolled more stringently. I also believe that illegals should be returned to their country of origin or another country that would accept them. However, I think it's a bit harsh to say,

"Latinos have corrupted their countries so much that they all want to leave and come here...problem is..they come here and sooner or later we'll be just as corrupt as they are now"

I don't believe the common man has had much to do with the corruption in their counties. Dictatorships in any form breed corruption as a matter of course. We all know the old saying that Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. Well, here it is in truth. Any place run by might with no consideration for the people, will become rampant with corruption.

The real questions then become "What do we as American's do about it?" "Is it even our business?" "Do we allow them (foriegn govenments) to continue to abuse their populace?" "How far is too far?" "When do we go from 'helping' to 'controlling'?"

So where is the line between interfering in others cultures and beliefs and helping the weak and helpless? I don't know the answer - But I do think this administration has gone too far and it's time to bring our boys and girls home from Iraq - before we lose any more of them to a civil war on foriegn soil. It's time for the Iraqis to ante-up and do for themselves. We (as a country) have given enough blood sweat and tears.